Celebrating Democracy
In honor of this historic election day (as a opposed to all those inconsequential ones), there’s a lot of free stuff on offer today. I just walked into Starbucks, sidled up to the barista, and said, “I’m here to announce the completion of my civic duty and celebrate America by accepting the noblesse oblige of the world’s largest coffee chain. Please fill ‘er up with a ‘tall’ measure of your finest roast.”
No, of course I didn’t say that. Instead, the conversation went something like this:
Me: You guys have free coffee for people who voted, right?
Super Amped Barista: Who’d you vote for?
Me: Will that affect the answer?
SAB: No, I just like to ask.
Me: Um, ok. Barack Obama.
SAB: (Fist pump.) Yay! Enjoy your coffee!
The bloody nerve! This is the same barista who, a few weeks ago, told me I look like this dude. (For the record, I don’t go to Starbucks that much, it just happens to be mad convenient to my apartment and this girl’s boldness is particularly memorable.) When Dunkin’ Donuts had a free iced coffee promotion in the summer I walked to as many franchises as I could, downing those joints until I felt physically ill. But I’m not going to take advantage of Starbucks’ “Election Day” free-for-all because I don’t like their attitude enough to be bothered. Plus, I already have to take a dump three sips in.
Yeah, that’s my new MacBook it’s sitting next to my Starbucks. Today I am “that guy.” But at least I am not that guy who paid for a “bar drink” (aka everyone in front of me) instead of cashing in on a free regular coffee.
