We post a lot on Highsnobiety. We get that. We also get that you’re busy people, and that this might mean you can’t necessarily read absolutely everything we publish.

While our preference would be that you all quit your jobs, drop out of your schools, and just sit at home hitting that refresh button ready to slurp up new and insightful streetwear content  as soon as it drops onto the homepage, we’re aware that might be asking a lot. So, we went for the next best thing, which was to get someone to read them all for you and then summarise them in a handy, weekly bulletin.

And who better to do that than Jon Moy? After all, since Four Pins got taken for one final shopping trip at the Great Streetwear Store in the Sky, we’re pretty sure he’s just been pointing at products in store windows and describing them to random passers by…

Well, no one has told me to stop writing this so I’m gonna keep going. Perusing this week’s picks, it seems that technology and innovative fabric development is a strong theme. Another strong theme is that like 7.9% of us can afford any of the stuff featured in this column. It’s cool, it’s like we’re all using internet connectivity to create one huge collective coke dream. One day we’ll own all the clothes we want and all the impractical footwear our hearts could ever desire. We just gotta print the zine we’ve been working on for the past seven years and then like, someone in the industry will notice and we’ll get it published globally and then we’ll be featured in those profile pieces that open with a shot of us leaning against our desks wearing incredibly expensive cardigans with the title, “If Print is Dead, No One Told Him.” In my zine-turned-global creative empire, these are the things that I would tell my readers to buy.

I fucking love technological garments. I really do. I could give a fuck about an iWatch or whatever. HELLO, iPHONES REINVENTED THE POCKET WATCH WE DON’T NEED WRISTWATCHES ANYMORE. That is, until someone reinvents the wristwatch. Anyways, I want this solar-panel coat from Junya so badly. I wonder how long I’d have to stand still to charge my phone with my dope ass coat. Probably a long fucking time. But it’s not really about using my coat to charge my phone. It’s actually all about telling people how my coat can charge my phone.

What would I wear with a coat that features solar panels hanging off it like Jimmy Carter’s White House? These dusty ass New Balances, that’s what. You have to wear scientist sneakers with high-tech coats. That’s like, Newton’s 38th Law. These sneakers are so dusty and dad-like and orthopedic-looking that the minute you put them on, you instantly become the nebbish but incredibly brilliant and surprisingly charming rocket engineer that predicts an alien attack and then like, an hour later in the movie, develops the strategy that, although improbable and highly unlikely to succeed, wins the day.

I bet the fabric developers at BlackYak and DSM who created this jacket made from Dyneema wear some incredible scientist sneakers in the lab. What is Dyneema? Only a fabric that has five times the tensile strength of steel by weight. In fact, this jacket is so light it can float on water. A size large weighs 70 grams. I want to wear this jacket while I become the leftist hacker a small team of government operatives has to work with to uncover a conspiracy within the military to attempt a coup. Obviously this scenario exists in a future in which individuals are more connected than ever using technology and the internet and yet live the most isolated and artificial existences due to that technology. Also cars don’t fly in this future because flying cars are just fucking planes.

Kendrick Lamar could probably make a dope concept album about a dystopian future if he wanted to. Too bad the dystopian future genre has just become a vehicle for white teens to fantasize about being marginalized. Highsnobiety's own Jason Dike sat down with Lamar for a quick discussion about his personal style, among other things. The most important take away for this week? Kendrick reinforces the rule that you’re not supposed to mix brands.

Wow, solar powered jackets, scientist sneakers and weekly knowledge bombs? You guys should turn off your ad-blockers for this column.

"See you space cowboys next week." - Jon Moy

Check back next Sunday for a new edition of tl;dr.